A Third Way: Joshy

Josh Abrey

Hey dad you awake
Well don't worry about it, i think i'm gonna go do my part for the christian race. (we are a race, we are the chosen race, we are the race that doesn't descriminate, for descrimination is what causes judgement, and judgement leads to pretty much everything jesus wasn't about
little bit of truth for the moment
Tell me if i'm wrong
Please
lets discuss this

5 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
i want to call, but you'r not here

so i'm going to go enjoy the morning with my longboard, buy a couple coffees for the homeless people in my neighbourhood, and bring my pouch of tobacco. Why do I do this? Because i've woken up not knowing where i was, hungry, cold, and in need of something (a cigarette) and there was no one around to help me
4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
THis is JESUS

I DONT CARE What you call it

being nice to people is what i wanna do from now on

I've begun to start the answer to every thought LITERALLLLLY WWJD

This is something real dad

I've found it

I love you and mom for ministering to me... even when i thought you thought i was in my "worldly tongue" a fuck up, you helped me out. Even when i was finding myself 3 years after i've left home, when i was just down and out, and feeling just out of luck, you loved me... When i thought there was no other way
4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
When i've been in the situations where i don't have ANYTHING... I have this little voice when you just looked at me as a child, and said, "Joshie... I love you"

And it all the sudden was like, Well at least i got my parents

(this whole next part is a rabbit trail, i love the ability to go back and sort my thoughts before i hit the enter key)Because i've been through some really tough stuff these last couple months with my buddy jared, (Its not even funny how much this guy wants what i have to offer) and he's in a situation similar actually to Mum's, except his dad didn't remarry. (rabbit trail). The only reason why he hangs out with me is because i'm a good guy and he's tired of truthless people. He's basically told me this but i'm also reading into it a bit because i've gotten to know him for the last 2 to 3 years
4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
(/rabbit trail)

(still in one rabbit trail "bracket If you will, because i've learned that the way i talk/think is like solving mathematical equations, where words replace numbers as variables in my head (learning to program is learning how to teach on the most basic level very interesting sidenote as well... I need to focus. Rabbit trails are like when you devide 2 by 3. and OMG I JUST FIGURED OUT WHAT 666 is all about!!!
4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
or is it just a coincidence

That being stuck in your brain, and FAIL to verbalize your opinions, or thoughts on the matter? is this where evil starts? when people stop thinking in the now and start thinking about what they could do later?

Because if you're always thinking about the future

Omg

Dad

i think im onto something

i need to keep a journal

because just writing down my thoughts mights just save the world

watch the movie 23 again, think about what i just said with the whole 666 thing

23 is 666 because if you let a number govern how you live your life, then you will be come evil

Think... why are crazy people crazy? because they've started to say exactly what they're thinking all the time

So maybe they're just crazy because we tell them they're crazy

Maybe we need to teach them to not be crazy

instead of just pumping them full of drugs

Hey kids, you're already f*cked in the head? Try some LSD, its the new drug of the future

I've tried it dad

I think you have too

ITs pretty amazing

Felt spiritiual

made me realize that there is something out there... sucks i had to look for a synthetic version to find out that what i had when i was a kid was pretty much 50,000 times better than any drug WE can make

which is why i still think pot isnt bad

its against the rules of our society so i shouldn't smoke it

But its ok with so many people that if i were to stop, i'd be closing so many doors to reach out

Wanna know something, I believe in pot... I've learned what it can be USED for, and i've learned what it can be ABUSED for, and i've abused it long enough. I used to say, Oh i only smoke when my friends do.

Well my friends all smoke pot

and Jared, bless his heart, likes to smoke alot

so i've felt that in order to be cool, and be able to reach out to him i had to bong toke like him... So i learned to abuse it basically off the get.

I had a turning point when i started selling pot

Yep

i'm admitting to that

I sold/sell (let me get to the point)

sell weed

I was really nice to my first ever dealer... I showed him unconditional love, before i forgot what that was due to drug abuse

and he saw that, and when i stopped calling him when i didn't have money he asked why

And i told him straight up i missed hanging with him

And i wanted to see more of him

and the next time he came back to deli a bag for jared he basically offered me a job

When i had NOTHING

God handed me a gift, it was a dirty gift, and i felt TERRIBLE

for taking it

but i did

and i'm glad i did

because i wouln't have learned what i've learned about people

learnt learned... how do i write it the right way

if i didn't take the job for the beggars and thieves

I didn't stop there, i sold for a bit, then things stopped going my way as when the one thing i was able to be generous with dwindled, i would get chincy. I'd start cutting corners, hoping they wouldnt realize the bag was smaller this time than last time. Instead of JUST LETTING THEM KNOW, that i was in a hard spot, and that's the reason i was dealing was because of that

4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
I am still in a hardspot, so i cannot drop it now, its something that i plan to stop doing, but its also something that if i'm going to continue to do, i'm going A) do it smart

b) I never push it on people, but that used to be rule "A" so yeah.

sell it generously

is (c)

Premium petroleum, for instance is expensive for the reasons it is, Lets say the price of Crude Oil is 190 a barrel. they go down accordingly depending on the octane, but if you are brave you can run your car off of the oil drippings you find at gas stations for when you have oil to dump, but you gotta do a little bit of refining yourself, to turn it into the golden end product you search.
4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
search for*

So basically the guy that got me started we've been through a lot together, and we talk, he was a major part of my walk back to faith, because we actually were able to connect and talk about similar goals over a bowl of weed, we connected, and as his business has come to fruition, he's been able to see me less and less. so when he sees me he likes to leave little things that i think he has learned (because he's got a good head on his shoulders regardless of the bad decisions he's made) to challenge me
4 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
I still have yet to go to the gym with him

but he's the guy that i wanna do it with when i have the money

Because i watched him go from my old size

to just JACKED

because he was tired of the way things ere

were

I love just talking dad

I've learned this

this is why i loved working for stapl;es

I stopped working for the source because they're ok with their employees leaving the store without giving a crap that you sold crappy product to ALOT of people

Cellphones are USELESS

you're right

Why would i want to be bothered when i'm out trying to get away from the phone

We got by without knowing what Tina morina and joe blow were doing exactly that second, we learned to just tell them about it later

And i found facebook causes me to think that i have a social life

even if my social life is on facebook

I don't have a social life till i go out and start fellowshipping

and i think the reason i fear fellowship at the church is because i've found the same kinda friendship in the crappies people in the world

like who?

This guy i had bashed into my skull in a REAL way as a kid

that i had to turn my back on so i could figure out what sin truly was, and what it TRULY was to feel sorry for what you did

Like you just fucked EVERYTHING up

and someone STILL LOVES YOU

my mum and dad

Jared, this guy who i smoked pot with for the last 3 years (love him) didnt have a mum after 12, and because his dad didn't know how to deal with it either he didn't really have a dad. Harley's dad just walked out on him

And these people are ANGRY PEOPLE

they don't know how to love unconditionally]

I will show them

That guy eric guy that you told me to reach out to a month or 2 ago

I'm going to

and i'm not going to church

because i already know the stories and the tails

and the morals

and the ethics

i just need to applly them to MY LIFE

RIGHT NOIW

Even in video games i basically just show good sportsman ship

You know what happens?

Our team starts to win

FOr instance

Last game, our was to the point where the other team was telling us good game

And i was dead, so the only thing i could do to help me team out was be a moral booster

Literally this is what i said

SPARTANS!

What is YOUR PROFESSION!!!

What did i get back from my team members?
3 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
in ALL CHAT
SO EVERYONE EVEN THE ENEMY COULD SEE
3 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
HUGH

Hyugh~!

HUG

H

its the fact that even though everyone knows we're fucked

someone's still got hope

3 hours agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
and that's exactlly what god is to me

Hope

God, god Gawd jesus jehovah whatever you wanna call him

the thing that makes everything just work

i've learned also just DON'T PUIT GOD IN A BOX

He's not some guy in a cloud

as an artist, i could draw him some other way

and in fact when i feel inspired to do so, i intend to

so people can start thinking about him perhaps the way i do'

which is just a tad different that what the tv tells the world

Because the reason why people laugh at ANYTHING is because they find truth in it, and learn to relate

I've thought about becoming a pastor... I wish you were up so i could just rant with my voice

but this will come

If i could get my dad anything for his birthday it would be to have him know for REAL that i'm doing this for real

So i'm heading out to the people in my neighbourhood

the people that don't have the bed that i have

and i'm gonna let them wake up right

Without feeling like they want something

A drink tray holds 4 cups why? So you have enough coffees for yourself and 3 buddies, whoever they might be

So i'ma go see if i can make some new friends

and love them to death

because if i don't WHO THE FUCK WILL!!

I choose to use profanity because i'm so ANGRY

that no one has been documented for just doing the right thing... what if the news stands had pics of a guy just doing what i did?

doing what i did

already speaking in the future

Jeeze

i'm retarded

I feel enlightened until i turn on my brain

When i speak from the soul only truth comes out

so i'm learning to do that

Its also helping me be more interesting

and girls like me more

basically i can't find a good reason not to keep doing what i'm doing

and i'm not gonna let people get me down on what i'm doing

and if i can do that

I might just have the power to change people for the better
2 hours agoSent from Chat
Owen Abrey
Wow Joshie, that was what I call "pouring out your heart". I want you to know I am proud to call you my son. And I am praying for you.

I am going to record this so I have a more permanent record of it.
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
WWJD... Went outside, was gonna bring my tobacco down and show compassion to come homeless people, and instead i found crows... I can remember depictions of Jesus with like doves and sheep and stuff around him... Artist depictions yes, possibly a dream someone had, but if jesus could do it i can too... he's basically my new role model
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
OJ showed me what it was to have someone to look up to

Showed me also that my little brother jordan is looking up to me in the same regard

s

And i think that if i am able to show him how this book he recommended to me helped me understand God, i can get him into this feeling of "enlightenment" i'm feeling

You know really why i didn't kick my roommate out when he beat me up?

God needed him to teach me more

He's rough... pure native and if you know any natives you know how stubborn and in their ways they are...

he actually understands what i'm going through moreso than jared

Because Harley at least has his culture which he believes in

The circle of life

Which is a great way to live, i have no idea why any white man told them to do differently

Well i do

But yeah
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Owen Abrey
I know you have been learning mega lessons...
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
I've come to learn that it's not what you believe its that you believe in it, and wholeheartedly

I was putting god in a box

Because its the same box everyone seems to be able to get him into

and i won't stand for it

When i think of God, you know what i think of?:

Fractals in nature

about an hour agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
because it makes me feel this glow inside me

that i know now to be god

What ever god is or whoever

or whatever it is i don't care anymore, it's good, and if god is good ia want to be like god

its just like way to simple to even understand

i tried life without the guide book for like 3 years and it sucked

the walkthrough was in front of me but to this day, if i pick up a game, i'm not gonna go read the guide

Playing league of legends taught me that sometimes someone has it figured out better than you, and you should copy them to get ahead

and then make your own changes to make that work for you
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Owen Abrey
joshy my puter hung and I lost you for the past 10 min, repost?

but I got some of this...
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Josh Abrey
if you go to your messages icon top right

it should be in there

Facebook doesn't forget anything
about an hour agoSent from Chat
Owen Abrey
Its cool you got the picture of God is good...

ok cool ty

I am going to have to reboot patience...
44 minutes agoSent from Chat
Owen Abrey
bad time to have my pc go down son..

i am in safe mode... will need to tinker on this

hope a virus didn't destroy my os
6 minutes ago
Owen Abrey
hmm this profile seems to work.. weird

well, I am not sure what went wrong but this profile seems fine, my usual is crapped out

are you still there?

God qualifies as a who, He has emotions...

I feel sad for those who do not know him, or don't have his word written in their hearts (and on the page).

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Joshy